Hört auf zu beschreiben, fängt an zu begreifen

Screenshot_5_15_13_10_44_AMEs gibt in der Diskussion, was Onlinekanäle in der politischen Kommunikanion leisten/wie sie sie verändert drei immer wiederkehrende Punkte, die alle drei die Diskussion unnötigerweise Verkürzen:

1) Die Diskussion dreht sich nur darum wir „ein Politiker“ Onlinekanäle nutzen kann
2) Die Analyse einer Präsenz bleibt bei „XY hat YZ Fans“ stehen
3) Die Beschreibung heißt zwar „[Social Media Plattform] für Politische Kommunikation“ geht aber nicht über „so bauen sie einen LIKE Button ein“ hinaus.

Vor diesem Triumvirat ist nicht einmal Facebook selbst gefeit. Die Broschüre „Facebook erfolgreich nutzen – Leitfaden für Politiker und Amtsträger,“ die offenbar gemeinsam mit einer Social-Media-Monitoring Firma (don’t even get me started) herausgegeben wurde (oder letztere hat das Facebook Corporate Design kooptiert – so genau kann man das nicht sagen), ist Anlass für diesen Rant (die Diskussion auf der ich sie zum ersten Mal gesehen habe auch, aber jetzt reicht’s erstmal mit Klammern und Einschüben). In ihr stehen Sätze wie: „Teilen Sie Texte, Fotos, Videos, Podcasts und Links, erstellen Sie Veranstaltungen und stellen Sie direkte Fragen, um eine persönliche Beziehung zu Ihren Anhängern aufzubauen.“ oder „Ihr Publikum wartet.“ oder „Ich berichte auf Facebook von Terminen, stelle Fotos von Zusammentreffen und Videos meiner Reden auf Facebook.“

Vor allem letzteres finde ich ein schönes Beispiel, wie politische KommunikatorInnen noch immer alte PR-Taktiken auf die neuen Kanäle anwenden. Es scheint fast, als würden sie meinen „Hurra, die Gatekeeper traditioneller Medien sind weg. Endlich hindert mich niemand mehr daran mein Gesicht stundenlang in die Kamera zu halten.“

Das ist ihnen aber nicht vorzuwerfen. Immerhin stehen solche Vorschläge in offiziellen Facebook-Handbüchern und sie haben es nicht anders gelernt. Wer es besser wissen sollte, sind wir Internet Menschen. Aber selbst wir sind nicht vor diesen drei Verkürzungen gefeit. Neulich auf einer Diskussion im Europa Haus gab es eine Veranstaltung zum Thema „Social Media und EU Kommunikation“ wo die Diskussion mit dem EU-Social Media Kommuikationschef, einer Facebook-Europe Person und dem von mir äußerst geschätzten Michel Reimon sofort in eine „Müssen Politiker im Internet lustig sein“ Diskussion verkam.

Zum Thema „Lustig“ und „authentisch“ fällt mir immer der äußerst treffende Kommentar von Colin Rogero ein: „If you’re boring, you’re boring.“ Das ist auch der Grund, warum ich Punkt 1) so verkürzt halte. Wie PolitikerInnen Facebook zum persönlichen Branding nutzen, ist mir doch wurscht. Manche sind um- und zugänglich, andere nicht. Daran werden auch Onlinekanäle nix ändern. Was viel interessanter ist, ob sie und ihre KommunikationsstrategInnen verstehen, zum dort Diskurs beizutragen.

Genau deshalb ist es auch egal, ob ein/e PolitikerIn 100 oder 1000 Fans hat. Leider lässt sich jeder „Social Media Check“ von Zahlen ablenken (Das zum Beispiel: http://www.fine-sites.de), aber auch JournalistInnen gehen fast nie darüber hinaus, wie viele Menschen Parteien um sich versammelt haben.

Deshalb mein Plädoyer: Hören wir auf, Social Media zu beschreiben, sondern reden darüber, was politische KommunikatorInnen in Onlinekanälen machen. Lasst uns nicht mehr von Zahlen ablenken lassen und nicht mehr über politische Persönlichkeiten sprechen, sondern über Themen und die Public Agenda und wie der durch das und im Netz verändert ist. Und lasst uns keine Anleitungen mehr schreiben, wie Like Buttons in Pages sondern wie Menschen in Politik „eingebaut“ werden können.

So. Rant over.

Hier übrigens der Link zur Facebook Für Politiker Broschüre.

Elevators Rant

Seriously, what do you not get?? There’s an up button and a down button. If you want up, you press up, if you want down, you press down. No, you don’t press down if the elevator is above you and you want to send him down to you. No, you don’t press up to pull the elevator from below you on your level. It’s really not that hard. And it wastes my time and yours if you do it wrong. The elevator will stop. You won’t get on because it’ll go in the wrong direction. I will have an unnecessary break and you will catch the elevator when it’s going in the right direction for you. That’s what the buttons are for. rant over.

Universität Wien: The empire strikes back

And the SNAFU continues. The handing-in ceremony at the German Department went surprisingly well. It was a clean cut, took 5 minutes and everything worked fine. They even send the form to the service center independently. I don’t have to get it and bring it there. Ok, they gave me another form (two actually) that has to be signed by me and my two professors who I take the final exam with, but that’s a reasonable portion of red tape – for U of Wien standards. The SNAFU continued today at the history department. The very nice office worker looked at my form and made the sound that I was fearing of since I thought of finishing school: Uh-Oh. There was one class missing. It was a free elective class, so I showed her my 10 extra PoliSci credits, my 10 extra German as a foreign language credits and my 29 students union credits, and told her to choose whatever she thought would fit.

That would be too easy. Turns out the free electives aren’t as free as the name sounds like. It has to be a class that has something to do with politics. Not a problem? I do have 10 extra PoliSci credits? Yes, but that’s not enough. There has to be a form. I have to plea that the PoliSci credits (one of the classes is called historical basis of politics) get accepted for the „free yet political history“ credits. But the REALLY bad news is: I have to go to the „service“ center and it takes SIX TO EIGHT WEEKS. Three if everything works out.

INT: STUDENTS SERVICE CENTER, DAY.

I have to pull a number. It’s 889. The door says 888. I’m surprised. I wait and fill out the form. My number shows up, I walk in.

OFFICE WORKER
(harsh doesn't come even close) 
Do you have a number
ME
Yes, here

SHE
Why didn't you get in?
ME
I was waiting for my number to show up.

SHE
I called your number five minutes ago.

I resign and give her the form. Because I thought it would be easier, I wrote down all the PoliSci courses I had, so that they could choose which one they thought would be the right one. She tells me that the Bescheid (1) would be negative, if the form stays like this. I have to guess which class they are thinking is right. If I choose wrongly, well I know that in six to eight weeks and the spectacle can start from the begining. But let’s be optimistic. After another mistake on my part (on the front, I was supposed to write down the name of my curriculum, not the number. On the back I was supposed to write the number of the curriculum, not the name. Stupid me.) I was free to go. I will know more in three to eight weeks. There’s nothing I can do.

(1) there really is not a proper translation that fits the horrifiying tone of the word. Verdict might be closest.


Why am I surprised (or: Universität „Red Tape“ Wien)

Today my red tape marathon at University of Vienna began. SPOILER ALERT: I’m not going to make my final exam date that I planned for END OF APRIL.

Step two (1)

I study at three different departments (German, History and Education/Licensure). That means: Three different office hours. „Office Hours“ in the Austrian sense: It’s open twice a week for two hours. Tuesdays is Education-Day, so I grabbed all my things (diplomas, validations, the form I filled out 5 years ago) and went to turn it in. I filled out the second part of the form I filled out five years ago and gave it to the nice lady at the counter. She took it, went to her little archive and pulled out the duplicate of the form, I filled out five years ago. She gave it to me and asked me to copy what I just filled out on the form that I filled first out five years ago onto the duplicate of the form I filled out 5 years ago. When I told her, that I was done, she asked me TO COME BACK IN 4 WEEKS TO GRAB THE SIGNED FORM THAT I FILLED OUT FIVE YEARS AGO. After looking really sad and desperate (I practiced in front of the mirror) she put the form that I filled out five years ago on another pile, so that it only takes 3 weeks. The person who signs all these forms filled out five years ago apparently has only one signing day a month.

Step three

When I get it back, that’s not even close to getting my degree. There are two other forms I filled out five years ago that I have to turn in at two other offices. When I get those three back (I hope four weeks is the limit, but it might as well be longer), I have to go to a place that is euphemistically called Students Service Center. It’s open – boy I don’t know, there’s no website where I could find that information, but as far as I remember it’s 6 hours a week. Good thing there: the queue is especially long since all students who study languages or various histories have to go there to hand stuff in.

Step four through seven

When I turned my three forms that I filled out five years ago in, I’m still not even close to my final exam. I have to wait: at least 4 weeks. Then I have my diploma, which means I can turn in my thesis. To turn in my thesis physically I have to upload it to a plagiarism controller first. This ridiculously expensive program controls if I plagiarised. It takes one week. For a machine. To run my thesis through Google. After I waited in line at the Service Center again and they accept my thesis, I have to wait two weeks to take my final exam.

Step eight – the bonus round

Does that mean I’m done? Well, yes. If you don’t want to have commencement. If you do want to show your family what it’s worth to put you through school, you have to register. There’s only 4 commencements per semester. There’s a waiting list. There’s a line at the Service Center where you have to register for the waiting list. To get a commencement date THIS JULY, (next date: September) I have to be done with my final exam END OF APRIL. To get a final exam date END OF APRIL, I have to turn in my grades in JANUARY. To do that, I’d have to be done with my courses in the spring term(2). Without any petty looks, sad faces and desperate bribing attempts it takes one year from your last exam to your commencement. With all these obsequious gesti it still takes a semester.

Abstract

I had my final regular exam on March 2nd. My thesis is done. If I’m lucky my commencement will be in July.

Rant over? Hell, no.

(1) I spare you and me the part where I take exams and wait for grades for a month or more. Grades I need to get this whole process, that is coming up, started.

(2) For classes in the winter term you get graded not before February. See me.

Medieval Literature

It’s not that no one told me that would happen: I kept the worst exam for the last minute: Literature of the Middle Ages. As always when I’m procrastinating, I come up with reasons, why the subject I’m suppost to study is not worth studying and has no right to exist what so ever. I never had as many reasons, why this class should be banished from the curriculum. The Top 5:

a) It’s not a science, It’s a believe

In Literature of the Middle Ages you don’t study facts, you study assumptions. Every Professor teaches different assumptions. One prof teaches that Gottfried didn’t finish Tristan, becaue he died. The other one claims that he took a break for reasons unknown and died years after he stoped writing. One prof says that Ottfried (1) didn’t actually state his name in *fill in text here*, the textbook says he did. This goes on and on.

b) It’s all built up on one guys assumption

Karl Lachmann constructed his theory in the 19th century. Everyone works off of his thinking.

c) It brings back puberty angst

Remember Latin? The language where you could actually translate every word (with a little help) and the sentence still didn’t make any sense? Well think of how frustrating that was and then imagine having words in front of you that seem to be your language.

d) It’s religiously discriminating.

I am a poor heathan boy. I don’t know what the first commandment is (until someone reminded me that it’s the first things Bartlet says in the West Wing Pilot) and I really don’t care that much (until, you know…). But in medieval literature everything is about the first commandment (which is not, btw: you shall not cheat on your wife – if that even is one) or any other commandment. Not knowing anything about Christianity is a huge disadvantage.

e) Just because it’s old, it isn’t good

No one would ever think of academically working on a poem that solely rymes bread and dead. But when it’s old, everything is forgotten and we pretend that its really important literature.

Rant over. 11 days to go.

(1) Might not be Ottfried but another guy.